It's my birthday in a few days and instead of looking forward to it, I'm really dreading it. I'm turning 29 this year, how fucking scary! I was 20 then I blinked my eyes and I was 28, how did this happen?
I can honestly say that since turning 26 I'm having a quarter-life crisis. In a society that is obsessed with eternal youth, getting closer to 30 can make you lose the plot! Everyone expects to have a stable job/relationship, a mortgage & kids by the time they turn 30 and this is also what I imagined when I was 15. But instead, I'm still living like when I was 20 years old, I still haven't managed to find my dream job and I'm still too scared of commitment, I can't tie myself down in a relationship that would involve the promise to spend the rest of my life with the same person.
People commonly say that "age doesn't mean anything" but when this society categorises each individual by age group this makes absolutely no sense. Each time you get closer to the next age bracket you start reflecting on your life and on what you were not able to achieve. It's so hard to keep up with this society's expectations (and with the expectations that I once had when I was younger).
I honestly don't know how am I going to cope with turning 40 when turning 30 feels like the end of my life. Maybe this society should realise that each person is different and this obsession with eternal youth are turning people insane! I sometimes wish that the world could be reinvented.
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